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want to be your love for real. want to be your everything.

everybody's talking how i can't, can't be your love.

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Name:
well you've dug this hole. come on and fill me up.
Birthdate:
12 April 1986
Location:
External Services:
  • refusethestars@livejournal.com



so i have been hanging out down by the train's depot.
no, i don't ride.
i just sit and watch the people there.
they remind me of wind up cars in motion,
the way they spin and turn and jockey for positions.
and i want to scream out that it is all nonsense
and that their lives are one track, and can't they see how it is all pointless?
but then, my knees give under me.
my head feels weak and suddenly it is clear to see
that it is not them but me, who has lost my self-identity.
as i hide behind these books i read, while scribbling my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me,
with some ideal ideology that no one can hope to achieve.
and i am never real; it is just a sketch of me.
and everything i have is trite and cheap
and a waste of paint, of tape, of time…
so i hold my tongue, forget the song, tie my shoe and start walking off.
and try to just keep moving on, with my broken heart and my absent god
and i have no faith but it is all i want, to be loved and believe in my soul.



waste of paint
by bright eyes


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